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.: At a loss for words.... :.

I have never felt this heartbroken and numb before. When I got home from work on Tuesday night, I found a letter on my dinning room table from Bobbys mom. I know I have discussed his family and their problems in past entries. This time, they have crossed the line and I don't think I can forgive them.

A few weeks ago, I wrote a "final attempt" letter reaching out to them explaining how much they are hurting their son. I tried to explain how the hurtful things they say eat away at him and keep him from sleeping at night. I tried to explain how much we love them and want to be in their lives, but don't need to live in their backyard for this to be possible.

Their response to my out cry was not what I was hoping for. As I read the letter, tears slowly ran down my cheeks. My heart fell to my stomache and with every page I read, the nausea worsened. "Your wife is manipulitive and coniving. All she wants to do is keep you away from us because she is ashamed of our lifestyle. All she has done is try to change you into what she wants you to be. She deletes emails that your little sister writes to you and trys to pretend that she keeps in contact with us. She thinks that she is mature, but she isn't. You think you know what love is Bobby, but you don't. You said you were so in love with Jessica, then Rachel, now her. You don't love her, and in time you will see it and will fall in love with someone else. We didn't come to your wedding because I was sick. You could have moved the date, why did it have to be on July 4th? You promised us you would come see us when you got out of the Marines, but instead you stayed with her. I never thought that I would turn my back on my children, but I am. I'm tired of you hurting us and abandoning us..." This went on for 10 pages, front and back.

When I think of the things I have done to try to help them, it sickens me. We have spent thousands of dollars to help them, I sent them a car, money for food, bills, new clothes, so many things to try to help. I have talked to them for countless hours on the phone, trying to fit in and become a part of their family. For a long time, I thought I was.

Bobby says they are mentally crazy and not to take it to heart. But how can I not? How can they hate me so much? All I have done is try to help and love them as I love my own family. How can they not be proud of their son? I feel so bad for them that they do not know how wonderful and loving he is. And even through all this, he still is not giving up on them like they are giving up on him. He wants to be there.

With every day that passes, a part of him dies. I am beginning to resent them and it is becoming irreperable. One day we will have children and they will want to know who their daddies parents are. What am I supposed to do or say?

Bobby had a nightmare of a childhood from the time he was born until the day he left for bootcamp. All I have wanted to do is give him 2 good days for every bad day he had. They make this impossible and it kills me. I feel cornered and I don't know where to turn....

.:.

.: 10:04 a.m. :.
.: November 11, 2004 :.

.:.

.: yin :: yang :.