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.: The Ex-Factor :.

Ex-husbands are like herpes. You can supress the pain and agony that it puts you through temporarily, but it always flares back up at the worst times. It will never go away and there is no cure. Why is it that once a significant other becomes an ex, their mission in life goes from trying to make you happy to trying to make your life a living hell.

My ex and I always got along just fine, as long as we weren't living together. Even when we split up and went our own merry way, we were still able to be some what civil. That was until we both moved on and weren't making each other miserable anymore.

Things had been rather quiet in that chapter of my life, until the past 2 months. Its like his phone calls have become part of my daily routine. Wake up, go to work, come home, get the call, eat dinner, etc. Every single fucking day its the same thing. And what do we still have to discuss?

First the calls were bitter and there was a lot of animosity left lingering. This was limited to weekends, holidays, any day that I would normally be in a good mood. Once I finally got caller id and avoided his dumb ass the calls got much more pleasant. "Hi! Its me! Just wanted to say hi and see what was going on. Give me a call when you get a chance." The pleasant calls were even more disturbing than the screaming matches we had grown accustom to.

Now, I promised myself that I wouldn't bring the ex-factor into my diary, but promises are made to be broken, remember? Plus, he was a big part of my life and that would be like erasing 5 or 6 years. A lot can happen in that amount of time. A child can be born, learn to walk, talk, be potty trained, and start school in that amount of time. A teenager could graduate high school, go to college, and get a degree in that amount of time. The point is, its a long time and a big hunk of my life I can't ignore.

I just don't really understand what we are still hanging on to. Here I am, 5 months shy of having a new last name and still being tormented by my ex. He always says he has a purpose for the calls, but I haven't quite figured it out yet. Maybe it is to make me jealous. He constantly is telling me about his new perfect girlfriend and the $6000 rock he bought her. Or how they are in the process of buying a house in Hawaii and are going to Pier One to furniture shop. Grrr.. But I'm not bitter. Ok, so I am, but I am not jealous in the least. In fact, I feel a little bad for the poor girl that knows no better.

Alright, I'm not going to sit here and belittle and poke fun at my ex, he's isn't always a bad guy. We just have the unfortunate ability to bring out the worst in each other. I just would like closure. For good. Everytime he is gone, the phone rings and he is right there again. I try to hate him, but the old guy I knew pops up. Is it normal to not hate your ex?

Another of lifes great mysteries... You know, fuck the book I'm writing, I need to write one about all of lifes mysteries and unanswered questions. They seem to be plaguing me lately...

Peace Out.

DC

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.: 6:50 p.m. :.
.: February 02, 2004 :.

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.: yin :: yang :.