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.: Stinkerella :.

I am so glad that yesterday is finally in the past. What a shit head I was... all day, too. I was in a horrid mood ever since I had woken up. I even went shopping and blatently spent money I didn't have to cheer myself up and even that didn't work. I fear that I am going to end up a bitter and alone old woman with 500 cats.

I seem to be feeling better today. I was up all night watching tv and playing "the longest journey" on my computer. I really wanted to write, but figured 3 entries in one day were plenty.

Have you ever had those days where everything just sucked? That was mine yesterday. The family was being overly annoying for some reason, of course he still hasn't called, i was the biggest clutz in the world, my hair was not being my friend, and I got my damn period. It was an overall shitty day I tell you.

Well, I am going to start this day out on a good note. They say that if you smile it will actually lift your spirits. Lets see..... Yeah it does, but thats because you realize what a dork you are smiling to yourself. God forbid if anyone walked in, they would be terrified.

On another note completely off the subject; last night I asked my mom if she could make some coffee that I had brought with me from Hawaii. I told her not to open my last package though that was still sealed and to use the one that was already open. Well, going the way my day was of course she opened the one I was saving for when Sugar-Butt came home so I was a little ticked, but as soon as I smelled it brewing I got this feeling of being home. Now its weird because I was technically "home" and the place I have lived for the majority of my life, but there is something about Hawaii that is still tugging at my heartstrings. I think it is the only place I have actually felt homesick for. I know you all must be thinking, "Well, duh! Its Hawaii!", but there is so much more that ties me to it. I think that it is hard to get over because that is where me & SB started our life together. Every memory I have of Hawaii has him in it and it just feels like home to me. So, the smell of that coffee that we use to drink every morning on my lanai left an empty feeling in my stomach. It made me realize that I really want to get out of this place. Don't get me wrong, I love my family and feel very blessed that I can be this close to them, but I need our own place again. I just don't think we can do that here. Maybe Colorado or Maine. I have always loved both places. And being that I am such a nature buff, they would do just fine in my book.

I feel like I am stuck in a rut and I hate being in that place. I'm not the happiest of people to be around. I find that I get very lazy and impatient. Ugh, this is turning into one of those diaries again. This entry sucks, I apologize. It is 8:41am, I'm awake, haven't had my shower or my coffee, and have to do laundry today, but I am staying positive. Ok, well I think I need to go hop in the shower before my coffee. I can smell myself. Ewwww...

Peace out.

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.: 8:19 a.m. :.
.: February 15, 2004 :.

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.: yin :: yang :.