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.: Misery Loves Company :.

All night last night, I tossed and turned thinking of my upcoming trip to visit Bobby's parents. Things didn't use to be so bad between all of us. It just seems that as his mothers illness gets worse, the relationship we all once had dwindles a little more.

Since I am up, and it is early, I have some time to give you a background update on the situation.

When I first met his parents a few years back, I fell in love with them just as fast as I did with Bobby. They were so loving and welcoming. I talked to them hours upon countless hours, like I had always known them. I guess the problem began right after the first time I went out to meet them with Bobby. For the first few days, things were fine. Meeting them in person was just like the first time we spoke on the phone. I felt like I was at home and really a part of the family.

Maybe a day or so before we left, all hell broke loose. And the fact that I, the new comer, was there didn't change the fact that there was a huge fight in the making. For quite a few hours, I sat through what seemed like a "Bobby Bashing" fest. I heard his stepfather tell him that he was the reason his mother was dying. The fact that he "abandon" them for four years to better his life, gave her nothing left to live for. I heard them tell him how he is selfish and feels that he is too good for the "simple" life.

It all ended with Bobby walking out the door, leaving me in the middle of the awkwardness. What could I say, but defend him. I think that is when I "overstepped" my boundries.

Since then, visits get progressively worse. Just lately, he received a call from his mother telling him never to call and stay out of their lives. They told him how much of a disappointment he is to the family and the he married a selfish bitch. All this leaves me completely shocked.

Over the past few years, we have done everything in our power to help them, financialy, spiritually, and physically. We have spent thousands of dollars, that we don't have, on their well being. I have sent them money and not told Bobby, by their wishes. We sent them a car when theirs broke down. We bought them new clothes and plane tickets for our wedding that they didn't show up to (Well, 3 of the 4 of them didn't show up to). Everytime we visit, Bobby goes through a rigorous job of refurbishing their small country home to make it inhabitable. We have even gone so far as to try to buy them a home closer to us, but they choose to live in squaller. They claim to be "happy" all though, the dirt, fleas, and surroundings are what is slowly killing his mother.

Bobby said they never use to live like that. His mother was a neat freak, his father had many college degrees, and the kids never went without what they needed. But, now that world is no longer in exsistance. I don't think of myself as being better than anyone else, but it baffles me that people would be content living the way they do. The smell and mess alone is unbearable.

I feel so horrible saying all of this, but I am just so fed up. They don't even know him the way I do. They don't realize what they are doing to him by telling him that he is a disappointment. Aren't parents suppose to be proud of their childrens accomplishments. Honestly, he almost lost his life fighting for our country, for them, and this is how is repaid?

At our wedding, the only person Bobby had there from his family was his brother. They claimed that his sister changed her mind and didn't want to be in the wedding. And mom was just too sick to fly, although they had just recently visited a friend that flew them half acrossed the country. He was devistated.

Everyday of my life, I have to reassure him that he is not a horrible person. They have made him believe that he is worthless. My husband is the most remarkable man I have ever met. It is an honor to have him by my side. He is the most loving, compassionate, and giving person you could meet. He's funny, sincere, and will always protect those he loves, even when they turn their backs on him. He is the strongest man I know, but even strong men have a weak spot. Even strong men can be broken down.

When all is said and done, they will be the ones that are missing out. They don't realize it yet, but one day they will. Until then, I will just stand by my husband. Reassuring him. Making sure he knows how much he is loved, by me.

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.: 6:19 a.m. :.
.: September 29, 2004 :.

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.: yin :: yang :.