.:.

.: Growing up is hard work... :.

Ok, so I feel better now. All I needed to do was blow off some steam and take a nice hot shower.

You know how you replay things in your head like 5 million times when something is bothering you?? That was kind of the situation in the shower. I was standing there bruding over this whole thing, when I really thought about something that Bobby told me this morning.

Right after I posted this morning, he called. Instantly he knew that something was bothering me. After I told him the "411" (sorry, couldn't help myself), he told me something that really makes a hell of a lot of sense. He said that "misery loves company", which I knew first hand. But then he went on to explain that when someone puts you down or makes you feel bad about something, you really have to figure the source. Stop and see where they are coming from. 99% of the people that make you feel bad about yourself do it because they feel bad about themselves and their situation.

So, this is what I came up with....

I have come to realize that I am growing up. I have a new life, a husband, a new job, new friends. I am at the point where eveything is changing. It happens to everyone, well some quicker than others, but its inevitable.

Unfortunately, with growing up comes a lot of struggling. But thats what growing up is. Some people will grow with you and some wont. The ones that don't are the ones that are going to try to hold you back. And if they can't, they'll try to make you feel like shit.

It really makes sense if you think about it.

What I need to do at this point in my life is focus on our future and the current tasks at hand. I surround myself around unhappy people. Hence, the reason for my previous rut. If I want to grow, I have to change a few aspects in my life. That is exactly what I plan on doing. From here on out, I must remain focused.

I am so blessed to have such a wonderful husband and strong relationship. He is so patient and understanding. Anytime there is something bothering me, he will try to explain why things are the way they are. He really makes sense and knows exactly how to get through to me. It means a lot to have someone there that really cares about what you are feeling and wants to make things better.

I think I will make him a big dinner. Shit, I feel motivated. Maybe I will even bake a cake for dessert. Sometimes I forget to stop and let him know just how much I really appreciate him. Food always seems to work with him. :)

Well, I need to go fix myself up and start this cake before my sweetie comes home. Hope you all have a peachy day!

.:.

.: 2:09 p.m. :.
.: October 06, 2004 :.

.:.

.: yin :: yang :.